Different day - in Boise on a trip with coworkers
7:15am - Some Original Strength re-sets for about 20 minutes
1:30pm - 18 holes of golf with coworkers (I walked about 5 miles and it was 90 degrees out!!)
Totally awesome day. It was a serious "WTH" moment as I probably golf about once every 3 years and cannot remember the last time I went out and swung a golf club, it has been that long. I hit a lot of really good shots, and just flat out did not expect to be able to do that whatsoever.
It just blows my mind that getting my body to move so much better, release some very old bad muscle and tension patterns in various places in my body (shoulders, pecs, neck, hips, et al), and then adding a load of strength through kettlebell training, has made such a significant difference in the quality of my life. I am grateful. To walk out and enjoy golfing is something I honestly am not sure I have been able to ever really do in my entire life.
I was reflecting on that and it made me think of the much bigger picture of all of the changes in my life that have been going on since late October when Jill told me that she had been unhappy in our marriage and believed that it was over. It has been quite the time period, the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life, that the only woman I ever loved and have loved for 17 years, almost half of my life, wants to move on and no longer be married. I have faced this situation head on and have done just about everything I can think of and then some to understand how we got to this place, and seek a way forward, together, to take all of the good in our long relationship and build on that foundation to create something better for both of us. Instead of rolling up into a ball, I did the opposite - I opened up, completely open, probably for the first time in my life, about a lot of things. I have been able to show Jill my love and my commitment to her, and respect for all of the time we have invested in each other. It has not done anything to change her mind or make her want to be with me, but I am ok with that. There is too much life to be lived, for both of us, to remain in a relationship where one or the other person is not able to fully love their partner, for whatever reason or reasons that might be. I believe that there are reasons beyond my full comprehension or consciousness that this pain has become part of my life, and that through pain, suffering and difficult times, a person's true character, true self, can emerge and take that challenge and turn it into a deeply positive experience that will lead to better things down the road in life. I feel like the last 18 months or so since I first met Ross and then shortly thereafter began training with kettlebells has been a time period of forging a strongly physical sense of self, and now, a mental and emotional strength. I am grateful for my life, I have a lot to live for, and that is exciting to think about.
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